The Secret To Being Well-Liked
When I was in college, I took a social etiquette class. I was not -- and still am not -- the most graceful girl in the room, by any stretch of the imagination. Silly me thought this class could teach me how to be more refined, laugh quietly and in a "delicate way" (whatever that means...), and know which fork to use at a fancy restaurant. (It taught me the last thing, however I have since forgotten.)
The book we read for this class was "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I cracked open this book immediately, wanting to know what the secret was to getting more people to like me. How could I make myself more appealing, more attractive, more interesting? Surprisingly enough, when I started reading the book, I realized a lot of the traits listed in the book, were things I already obtained.
Before you start thinking that I'm some self-absorbed freak, let me explain. The traits listed in the book were all about how to make others feel important, and in turn, that leads to them liking you more as a person. Growing up, my mom instilled in me -- whether she realized it or not -- the art of compliment giving. I even got asked to talk about it at a conference when I was in college. You see, getting people to like you is way less about you as a person, than it is about how you make other people feel about themselves. I have countless stories of how these tactics have worked in my favor. Things like getting a flight changed with no hassle or extra cost, free product from stores, and the list goes on and on.
Here are a few tips I've learned (and am still learning...every day. ha.)
01. Be a good listener.
One thing my friend Kevin has always told me is "People love to talk about themselves. If you let them, you'll instantly become more attractive to them." Think about it. We all have that person in our lives who is completely selfless, and lets us talk about ourselves non-stop. We may not realize that we do it, but if we think about it long enough -- it's there. I don't know about you, but I'm drawn to those people, because they allow me to just. be. me. It's a subconscious thing, really. Those people are typically the ones who are very interested in what you have to say. They aren't just half-heartedly listening to you, waiting for you to finish... but they're wide-eyed, engaged, and excited. Try being one of those people to someone.
02. Genuinely compliment someone.
Compliments are like people magnets, I promise. From something as little as "I love the way your hair looks today!" to something deeper like, "I think you are so creative. I can't wait to see where that takes you in life." Compliments have a way of not only brightening up someone's day but instilling in them confidence they may have not had prior. I try to give out compliments as freely as I can, but I also try to make them as genuine as I can, every single time. This should go without saying, but the more you compliment other people, the better you feel about yourself.
03. Complain less.
You ever been around someone who is just negative all the time? There is absolutely nothing encouraging or refreshing about it. In fact, it's exhausting. Just don't do it. Complain less. Take whatever you want to complain about, and try to turn it into something positive. This is something I'm practicing even in my own life. Car breaks down. "Wow, this sucks. This would happen to me." Or, "Okay, this is unfortunate, but hey, maybe this is God's way of protecting us from a car accident up the road." Complaining helps no one and nothing. Don't do it.
04. Speak only the good you know.
Benjamin Franklin said it best when he said, "I will speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody." Gossiping instantly makes you less attractive of a person, it's just a fact. I am not perfect. I am not immune to this trait. But I am actively working on only speaking the good I know of people, even if it is the tiniest, most minute thing. I don't want to speak their flaws. I want to speak their good.
05. Be invested.
Ask questions. Remember important details like names, birthdays, and favorite restaurants or stores. Don't be a halfhearted person, but someone who dives into the little (and big) details. That's what makes all the difference.
Those are a few of my tips to becoming well-liked :) Are these things you find that you practice in your everyday life or could you work on a few of them? Do you have any tips you could share with me that you think should be on this list? I'd love to hear in the comment section below!